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Breaches of Reality – Don’t Breathe

By September 8, 2016Script Advice

Warning – SPOILER ALERT!

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Okay. So this flick is doing quite well BO-wise, right? Budget was about 10 MIL and as of Sept 5th, it’s grossed over 50 MIL. The story follows three hoodlums looking to get out of the city of Detroit and move to Los Angeles (why?). To achieve this dream, they bust into a crappy, dilapidated home of a blind army vet who is purported to have a mattress-full of cash stowed away from a court settlement. Why the court settlement? Oh yeah, not only is the army vet blind, but his daughter died and went to roadkill heaven courtesy of a local rich girl driving under the influence of nail polish fumes and text messages.

ANYWAYZ… These three hoodlums – one of which is female, the protagonist who we’re rooting for (not really) break into this guy’s home and look for the roadkill money.

Much meandering through the house and dodging the blind war veteran ensues… So let’s just jump 50 minutes and get to the twist –

– OKAY – so that rich bitch that killed the blind vet’s daughter? She’s actually TIED UP downstairs… She gets shot in the head and the mattress/ropes and what not army vet used for her are now freed-up and available for other purposes. More meandering. Blah blah blah, short story shorter, he ties up our protagonist (really now) and explains he must have another child to replace roadkill baby. And our protagonist (really?) is going to be the incubator for said child.

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But GET THIS –

Blind dude says “he’s not a rapist.” He doesn’t plan to rape our protagonist… No, that would be too… Cruel? I guess? He has too high a moral code to rape a woman. So he pulls out a TURKEY BASTER, fills it with his semen from a jar marked “BABY MAKING JUICE” and is ABOUT to penetrate our protagonist (not really) with the baster. (This is still a sexual assault, not sure the reasoning why the vet says it’s not rape, but whatever… that’s not what I’m peeved about).

Huh?

This blind guy has been holed up in a crumbling shack. His wife? Presumably dead. His daughter? Squashed like a bug. The best years of his life? Evaporated in Iraqi dust storms. For this?  Our heroine who broke into his home to steal the blood money. He’s old, angry, been fucked over by society – and he won’t rape her? He’s going to give her the ‘ole Thanksgiving turkey treatment instead?

Ugh. Compared to our protag (not) I’m ROOTING for this guy.

What are the filmmakers saying about the antagonist? He has a stronger moral code and more integrity than Mother Theresa. And HE’S the bad guy here?

And BTW – the protagonist (ew) demonstrates a “need” to get out of Detroit as established in an earlier scene because A). her Mom is slightly crude and made an obscene gesture, and B). She has a little sister or cousin or whatever she’ll take with to lala land.

If blind dude stuck our blond protagonist (good for him) with the baster, okay – maybe I’d let this breach go. But she gets out of the mess thanks to her crummy thug friend (we thought was dead, but he actually isn’t… or something?) just in the nick of time.

Ugh.

Did I say that already?

Plus, she gets out of the house – rectum and vagina intact – steals the loot and starts for sunny Los Angeles. She loses nothing. No sacrifice. Maybe a bruise.

Second spoiler alert!

I’m not some sicko who wants to see a lady get raped or “T-basted” or anything… I just think there should be consequences to shit protags pull, especially in horror films. I’m double XXd chromosoned, motherfuckers. That’s right, I’m of the homogametic sex, hellz yeahzzz.

There are so many freaking breaches in this flick that my britches are all in knots. This ain’t motor city, it’s breach city! BREACH OF REALITIES!!!

Written by: Mich Medvedoff

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